I Haven't Thought of You Lately At All
by Redhood79
Summary: Gossip Girl/Veronica Mars hybrid. Blair Waldorf was supposed to be the Queen B of the UES. But a couple of GG blasts later and a tragic accident of her bff have left her fairytale life in ashes. The former Queen's not about to go quietly though, especially when there's a supposed killer on the loose.
1. Chapter 1

**I started a rewatch of Gossip Girl earlier in the month so this fic is what happens when I binge watch that show directly after watching the first season of Veronica Mars. I will be taking plot points from both shows but only using characters from GG. I will not be going episode by episode and this fic will probably be only at most ten chapters.**

 **I do not own either the characters or really the underlying plot of this fic.**

 **xoxo**

Blair Waldorf tried not to fidget as she waited near the bottom of the steps that led to the main building of St. Jude's School for Boys. Waldorfs did not fidget, as her mother had pointed out many times over the years. They also didn't wait, especially on insignificant nobodies from the dregs of Dumbo, but in this case Blair supposed a special dispensation could be made. She was using blackmail as a setup for this meeting after all. Which meant that Humphrey should be more prompt. Hell maybe even early.

How the mighty had fallen. A half a year ago the thought of waiting for anybody, let alone the local charity scholarship student for copies of some of the guidance counselor's notes wouldn't have made Blair laugh so much as ask you what meds you were on and if you needed to up the dose.

But that was before the video and the breakup and the _accident_. Except it wasn't an accident. Blair had been too blinded by rage and grief and maybe just a bit of self-pity to see it at the time, but she saw clearly now.

What happened to Serena wasn't an accident. Neither was the fallout. Someone was responsible and they were going to pay.

It was still ten minutes until the first bell would ring for St. Jude's and Constance Billard. Blair could feel the eyes of others on her and was probably not imagining the whispers from the other students in the quad. She'd become inoculated to it by now, mostly. She was sure someone would probably send a picture to Gossip Girl about it. Not that there was anything noteworthy about the former Queen B of Constance waiting around the steps of her former domains male counterpart. Not unless it was a slow day and GG thought it was because…

"Shit," Blair cursed under her breath. Waldorfs didn't really do that either but Blair had been breaking a lot of Waldorf rules of late, what was one more.

She caught a glimpse of Nate Archibald coming through the gates. The sun glinted off blond hair and the boy had an easy relaxed smile on his face as he listened to something one of his lacrosse teammates said. Blair was pretty sure some of that relaxation was due to medicinal help. Word on Gossip Girl was that her ex was spending all his time smoking up behind the lacrosse field when not spotted falling asleep in the park. Well not all his time.

Blair tried to push away the jealous knot of energy that was forming in her stomach and throat. Nate and her had been broken up since the end of sophomore year. That was almost an eternity in high school terms. Truth was it hadn't really been a breakup as an implosion. Fall out.

A flash of blond hair and ruffled skirts flashed across her brain along with the noises that still haunted Blair's waking life sometimes, thanks to that stupid video someone sent to Gossip Girl of her BFF and boyfriend ravishing each other on top of an barstool. Tasteless especially considering what came after.

Blair was over it. She was…

So her ex-boyfriend had slept with her best friend at some UES wedding. It was months ago and Blair had come to find there were worse things. And if Nate wanted to sleep his way through the Chapin female population that was his business. God knew the guy had some wild oats to sow since him and Blair hadn't ever gotten past second base in their relationship. Though that hadn't really been her choice either.

As Nate and his jock friends approached the steps Blair turned away. If he stopped for a stutter of a second on seeing her or even acknowledged her presence at all she missed it. She refused to be such a glutton for punishment. She'd been doing that enough lately. Blair tried not to think about the slip up she'd had in the second floor bathroom last week.

Everything had been going so well…

Okay that was bullshit but she had thought she wouldn't need to do _that_ that day. But then her mother had announced that she'd be gone for at least a week to Spain, nothing new really, and Humphrey had decide to have some sort of backbone and those two bitches Hazel and Penelope had decided to try to humiliate her some more…

Blair snapped her eyes shut and took a few calming breathes, willing her stomach to settle down.

 _It doesn't matter_. _None of it matters anymore._ _Think about Serena._

Which was a bit morbid but it seemed to help her from having a full-blown panic attack lately. It didn't stop the other thing but Blair was past the point in believing in miracles.

It was funny in a way. Serena had made her feel so inadequate and less whenever she was around and yet Blair felt almost the exact same way now that the Amazonian blond was not around.

So it wasn't Serena's fault. Maybe not even Eleanor's. Blair was just broken from the get go. There were always more pieces to smash though, she'd found that out the hard way. Someone was going to get cut with them though, she'd make damn sure of that.

After another long minute Blair opened her eyes...locking them on Chuck Bass who was leaning against the nearest building cigarette in hand. For a half a second he had some strange look in his eyes that Blair couldn't quite read. Then he noticed her eyes on him and his face slipped back into the borderline boredom look he always had when he wasn't sneering. Except those dark eyes of his. They were cold and glinting with malice.

St. Jude's resident bad boy had gotten the best of Blair of late, always having the last word but she'd be damned if he got the first one, at least in this instance.

"I thought I smelled weak scotch and skank," she said giving him her best look of disgust.

Chuck threw his cigarette away and crushed it under his loafers before sliding closer. A slow smile spread across his face as if Blair had somehow stepped right into some sort of trap. Knowing Chuck's perverse mind she probably had. The Basstard had made the first few weeks of school a living hell for her. Blair was certain that shit Hazel and Penelope had tried to pull last week had been at his direction.

To think she had once thought of him as one of her closest friends.

"Better than eau de desperation," he said reaching a hand out to caress one of her dark curls. Blair slapped his hand away and that just made his smile widen to Cheshire Cat proportions.

"Desperate?" she scoffed, trying to keep her face from redding with anger. "You sure that's not your aftershave or just your natural musk? You're on the outs too you know."

Blair wasn't the only ex in Nate's life now that the Prince of St. Jude's had cut ties with the boy who had been his bestie since grade school. Blair didn't exactly know the details of that since it had happened about the same time as her breakup with Nate and the rest of the Serena thing. By the time she even noticed or thought to ask, Chuck had some sort of vendetta against her.

"Least I still get the invitations, Waldorf," he said. "And you know I only drink top shelf."

Just because Nate had exiled Chuck didn't mean the rest of their peers had. Which just proved that if someone had enough money, or their father did, you could over look what a psychotic jackass they were.

"Still hoping for a reconciliation, Waldorf? You'll be holding your breath a long time."

Blair wasn't sure if he was talking about Nate or everyone in general. Maybe Chuck didn't know himself.

"I'm sure that's what you say to all the girls, Bass. Except the ones that get away."

She smirked as he narrowed his eyes and frowned at her.

"That reminds me, you owe me. The Kiss on Lips party."

He slipped his hand against her lower back and she refused to cower or kick him in the shin. Instead she gave him a sickeningly sweet smile and batted her eyelashes at him as she trailed her fingers across his chest. He knew it was some sort of trap of hers but Chuck couldn't help his response. His breath hitched and he leaned in closer.

Blair got a bit of a thrill at seeing the effect she had on him. It had been a long while since anyone had looked at her with anything but derision or worse: pity. The thrill wasn't enough to make her let him get any closer though. Like she needed him to think she was desperate enough to be one of his harem.

The worst would be if someone decided to snap a shot of them and send it to Gossip Girl. Blair had been keeping her head down lately and she knew that the anonymous blogger would love any little tidbit about Blair's further fall from grace. Especially after the whole thing with Nelly Yuki.

Blair caressed her hand over Chuck's heart for a moment longer, flushing a bit at feeling it pick up speed, before shoving him away, hard.

"I think it's the other way around, Bass. Prison orange just isn't your color," she spat.

Chuck was about ready to give what was surely a biting retort when they were interrupted by an out of breath Dan Humphrey, rumpled chinos and all.

"Uh…Hey," he said giving the two students a crooked smile. Then he remembered that he wasn't exactly friends with either of them and let it drop. He looked at Blair. "I. uh… Have that stuff."

"What is he? Your dealer?" Chuck asked.

Blair thought Daniel Humphrey should have been used to getting looked at like dog poop one scraped off a shoe, but apparently not. Or maybe Chuck Bass had the same affect on Humphrey as he had on Blair.

"Seriously, man? I go here. I'm wearing the same uniform. I sit two behind you in English."

"Ignore him," Blair said to Dan. "I know I do."

Chuck took her dismissal gracefully thank god, but not exactly lying down. He flicked her curls off her shoulder and leaned in close as he whispered, "You wish you could, Waldorf."

Dan waited for Chuck to be out of site and mind before her spoke.

"Did I interrupt some sort of weird foreplay?" He didn't actually want to know the answer.

"Hardly and as if it's any of your business. Which is what you're here for now that you've come to your senses."

Dan let his distaste at her reminder show but he whipped his backpack off his shoulder and started to dig through it.

"Senses? You're blackmailing me!"

Blair let out a huff of annoyance at his indignation. How the hell had he survived this long in her world with that attitude? Well that question was easily answered really. He hadn't really lived in it. Sure he'd somehow become the topic in a few Gossip Girl blasts but those were mostly about his complete lack of social standing.

"First off blackmail is a little strong. In this instance I'd prefer to say I'm outright threatening you."

"You don't even have anything to threaten me with. Nothing happened!"

"Thanks to me."

"Oh yeah, you're a freaking hero. Threatening to slander a freshman's reputation. It's not even true," Dan said.

"Again, thanks to me. If I hadn't decided to help you Little J most certainly would have made it up to the roof with our dearly departed frienemy."

"I almost wish I had to deal with Chuck Bass over you. Or that I had that night." Dan clenched his fist around his backpack.

"I wouldn't. Word is he has a hit man on speed dial," Blair said holding out her hand. She was getting impatient at Humphrey's saintly act. If he was trying to play the angel on her shoulder he was out of luck. Even before everything had gone to hell Blair had always listened to the devil. "The files, Humphrey."

The bell was going to ring any second. Sure Blair had let her social standing slip a bit but Yale was still very much on the table and she wasn't about to receive the first tardy of her academic career because of Dan Humphrey's morals.

The boy gave her one more disgusted look before digging the requested paperwork out of his backpack and placing it in her hands. It was quite a haul.

"Don't you feel even a little bit disgusted with yourself. These are your friends. Your ex."

Blair rolled her eyes at him otherwise ignoring his comments. She'd have to stash this in her locker. Maybe just keep one or two in her Prada for light reading during lunch.

"What do you even expect to do with all that?" Dan asked.

Though he had a pretty good idea. Blair could guess his thoughts but he'd be unpleasantly surprised by it all. Sure she could use tidbits from these files to reek havoc and social homicide on those who had no problem doing the same to her, but that wasn't the goal anymore.

If Humphrey had done his due diligence as an office aide, which if he professed to love his little Cinderella of a sister he better hope he did, there would be notes from not just the beginning of this semester but of the last semester of sophomore year.

After what happened last spring the headmistress and headmaster of the two prep schools had made it compulsory for certain members of the student body who had been closest to Serena Van der Woodsen to seek counseling from the guidance office.

Most of these dregs would be useless. They wouldn't really give her the answers she wanted but if there was even a chance someone knew something about those last few hours before Serena's accident…

 _Not an accident._ Blair scolded herself. _It was deliberate._

Blair was not crazy.

Plus Gossip Girl might be persuaded to help her out a little more if Blair could feed the blogger some prime pieces. As might as she hated the blog she had no better resource right now. Not even Nelly Yuki's keystroke skills.

She looked up from the stack in her hands to see Dan still standing there.

"We're done here. You can go." She waved him off.

She felt like telling him to stop looking so affronted or his face would stay locked like that.

"I need your word," Dan said. "…that you won't do what you threatened. That you won't send a tip… a lie to Gossip Girl about Jenny and Chuck Bass."

This guy really was getting on her last nerve. Like he should think he could even dictate some sort of terms to her.

"Unclench, Humphrey. Nobody cares about the fight you're waging for your sister's soul. If anything she might even thank me if I sent in that she was just another notch on Bass's very used bedpost. Nobodies anybody until they're talked about and no one is talking about you or your sister."

"You're…." Dan trailed off not having the right words or more likely the backbone to finish.

"Go ahead," Blair tried to goad him.

Her run in with Chuck had gotten her heckles up and she was just a bit unsatisfied it had ended so soon. Not enough blood had been spilled for her taste.

When Humphrey didn't take the bait she scoffed. Humphrey needed a villain for his little social satire piece and Blair was more than happy to play the part. God knows she had before.

"I've been called everything, Humphrey, by people much more socially relevant than you. Do yourself a favor and go back to Brooklyn. You should take your sister along with you, though I must say she has a better chance of getting in around here than you."

She knew those words would hurt him. This kid liked to think he was above all this, like he was better than, but the truth was he was just as power hungry as that Little J. He was just better at masking his desire for acceptance. And Blair wasn't above using this fact to her own ends.

"Word to the wise, Humphrey. Next time someone gives you an opening like that, take the shot, because they damn well will."

Dan glared at her.

"Unlike you I actually like to be able to look at myself in the mirror," he said.

Blair was almost impressed. Almost.

The first bell rang and she shuffled the files to one arm while she maneuvered to take out her compact. She pretended to fix her hair. It was perfect of course. No trace of the turmoil she felt beneath. She snapped her compact shut and stuffed it back in her Prada bag before heading off, barely giving Humphrey another look. She did throw one last barb though.

"Good for you. Too bad it's not much to look at."

 **xoxo**

It was well into homeroom before Gossip Girl sent out her first blast of the day. Blair should have expected it. The blogger might have been playing nice and even thrown her some crumbs, but Gossip Girl was still a raging bitch that couldn't pass up a chance to dish.

 _ **Good morning, Upper East Siders. Many of you have been commenting on how I've been neglecting a certain former Queen B of late. Truth is I have been taking it easy on dear Ms. Waldorf, what with my last blast about her at the Kiss on the Lips party. Not to mention the hard hits of last spring. B seemed to have more than paid her penance and even seemed to turn over a new leaf. Too bad the tree that leaf came from seems to be infested with rodents.**_

Directly underneath this was a picture of Blair and Chuck looking rather close but they had been anything but comfortable in Blair's eyes.

 _ **We hear turnabouts fair play and B puts the capital in Bitch. Everyone knows what happened between N & S last spring before the unfortunate accident. It seems boyfriends & bffs are back in style. Or gfs this season.**_

 _ **We heard Chuck Bass was on the outs with princely N too and C never was one to go home lonely.**_

 _ **Could C &B have found a way to weather the cold while serving up a dish of payback?**_

 _ **Hope you have all your shots up to date B.**_

 _ **You know you love me, XOXO**_

"Great," Blair murmured.

 **xoxo**

 **If this first chapter is a bit confusing it's meant to be. This takes place a few weeks into junior year. The next chapter will have some flashbacks both of what exactly happened with Serena and the fateful Kiss on the Lips party. And in the universe of this fic Dan is not Gossip Girl.**

 **Blair isn't going to be full on Veronica Mars in this fic. She's not going to be solving a bunch of side mysteries, though their will be some schemes.**

 **Hopefully this isn't too much of a mess. Feel free to comment on what might not work and what you might like to see in general.**

 **Please like and review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Flashbacks in this chapter are in italics.**

 **xoxo**

The first four periods of the day had gone by without much incident. It helped that Gossip Girl sent out another blast during second period that Missy Cartwright wasn't out sick with bronchitis but mono, which she had supposedly gotten from her stepbrother. Hazel had tried to start something in the halls between third and fourth period, but when Blair had dropped some not so subtle hints that Blair was fine with bringing up the time she caught Hazel getting a little too frisky with her cousin, and the blonde had backed off.

Then came lunch.

Blair would be lying if she didn't admit she missed the steps of the Met a little bit. Mostly she missed the view and the atmosphere. Definitely not the company. Excluding Serena the rest of the girls who she had eaten lunch with had been nothing but minions. Slaves at best, playthings when Blair felt at her worst.

The idea of fighting over those steps was just tiring and rather laughable now. Especially with winter coming around the corner. Blair would not miss freezing her ass off on those stony steps. Even her thickest stockings hadn't kept the chill out completely.

" _You should get your boyfriend to come warm you up, B"_ _Serena had laughed at her last year when she complained._

" _Ugh…He's off with that reprobate he calls a best friend. As if I don't know they ditched homeroom to go get high in the park."_

 _This seemed hysterical to Serena for some reason._

" _Oh God, S. Not you too!"_

" _Chuck does have the best weed. And in my defense I at least made it in time for roll call."_

Blair was jolted out of her past by Nelly Yuki dumping her books followed by her lunch onto the table. The Asian honors student gave a sheepish grin as way of apology off the glare Blair gave her.

Blair didn't know why she let Nelly Yuki sit with her. Technically this table, hell this whole alcove, had been the other girl's roost first. At least on the days Nelly Yuki didn't spend her lunch hour in the library. Though truth be told the girl was learning some style at least. The baby blue sequined headband the other girl was wearing was a bit too Claire's but it matched the color of her knee high socks to a tee.

"Sorry," Nelly said. Blair thought she was apologizing for the ruckus until the bespectacled girl continued. "I had tutor duty during homeroom today, otherwise I would have totally been there for you. And I would have talked to you during AP English but you know how Mrs. Brett is."

Blair rolled her eyes. She needed to put a stop to the verbal diarrhea before it turned into a full on ramble.

"Nelly, I don't know how many times I have to tell you. We're not friends."

Blair could almost feel some sort of pang at the crestfallen look on the other girl's face. But then she remembered that this was Nelly Yuki. For all intents and purposes this girl should be her enemy. Besides being the only girl at Constance with less standing and even fewer friends than Blair, Nelly Yuki was probably the only girl who could stand in the way of Blair's dreams of Yale.

Sure Constance was the cream of the pre-Ivy crop of schools but the chances of two girls being picked from their hallowed halls to go to Yale was a bit of a long shot.

Keep your enemies closer was Blair's reasoning, though the truth was she was lonely. And she'd never admit it, but Nelly Yuki wasn't that bad. Plus both girls felt more than a little bit of guilt toward each other over the whole debacle with Gossip Girl before school started.

Nelly didn't seem to take Blair's pronouncement too much to heart. Or else she was just as lonely as the other girl and would take any listening ear she could get. Blair mostly tuned her out.

"What are you talking about?" Blair suddenly snapped. "Why would I need company after school?"

Nelly Yuki wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Well…It's Thursday. Everyone know you go to visit—."

Blair shot up from her seat before the other girl could finish.

"We don't talk about that," Blair said, her eyes burning. "And I thought you'd be over all that Gossip Girl bullshit after everything."

Blair tossed her half-eaten yogurt in the trash and grabbed her bag and books before Nelly could stutter out an apology. She made her way inside and ran right into Nate. He must have been waiting for her seeing how this was the girl's hallway and he was right across from her locker.

It had been so long since she had been this close to him and allowed herself to really look at him. She remembered the last time she had really seen him. It hadn't been when she'd yelled at him to get out after he'd come to try to smooth things over when that video was released.

" _What the hell are you doing?!" Blair had yelled at him._

 _He'd had Chuck pushed up against the wall of the waiting area at Lenox Hill Hospital._

 _Chuck knocked Nate's hands away easily and adjusted his scarf and jacket._

" _Blair's right. This is hardly the time for such theatrics, Nathaniel."_

 _Nate ignored him and stocked out through the main entrance of the hospital without even giving Blair a glance. Blair wanted to run after him but she tried to remind herself of the anger and betrayal she felt._

" _You might as well leave too," she snapped at Chuck. "Lily isn't letting anyone who isn't family see her."_

"You look…" Nate wracked his head for the right word finally landing on "…well."

"Wow. You really dug down deep for that compliment."

His body jumped in response as if she had slapped him and she might as well have. Blair never talked to Nate like that.

Even though they'd known each other since grade school, Blair had taken great pains to never let Nate see this side of her. Not fully anyway. Sure he'd probably heard stories and he'd seen her do a take down once or twice (like when Patsy Renner decided to wear _tights as pants_ to Mrs. Archibald's garden party) but he'd never been at the receiving end of this sort of Blair. Even at the end; then there had mostly been a small bought of yelling followed by weeks then months of silence and avoidance. Like everyone else in Nate's life Blair Waldorf had used the kid gloves on him.

Damn it but he had that hurt puppy dog look on his face mixed with just a touch of confusion. Nate was either high or just naïve to think that after months of radio silence she would coo over him and thank him for the slightest freaking breadcrumb of his attention. Blair could admit to herself that she wasn't exactly being strong. If he'd come to her last month she probably would have walked across hot coals just to see that lazy smile of his pointed in her direction.

Hell if he hadn't given her the cold shoulder as early as two weeks ago…

 _Kiss on The Lips Party_

 _Blair didn't know why she had come. Okay that was a bit of a lie. She was trying to prove something to herself, one way or another. Either she could bounce back from this and reclaim her crown or she'd burn it all down._

 _Honestly she didn't know which she wanted. She was so tired and just a bit drunk. She'd downed a couple of shots off a passing waiter tray on her way in and coupled with the two martinis she had Dorota serve her while she dressed, she wasn't exactly thinking straight or sober._

 _Blair knew there would probably be repercussions for what she was trying to do. No one crossed Gossip Girl. It was social suicide but Blair had fallen so far lately she didn't think there was much else to loose. She also hoped that if retribution came it would be targeted at little Nelly Yuki. Constance's resident bookworm was also a novice hacker it seemed, or maybe not so novice. The whole reason Blair had tried to cozy up to the girl was because word was Nelly had invented some computer algorithm that could help solve world hunger. Surely the nerd would know how to take a video down off a site._

 _What had been the point really? That video of Nate and Serena had been on the blog for a while now and someone had pointed page six in the direction of it a few weeks after the accident. She'd committed social suicide for nothing._

 _ **Not for nothing.**_ _Blair told herself._ _ **For Serena.**_

 _The new blast had gone out two days ago. That bitch of a blogger had found out about her dirty little secret somehow. Blair was pretty sure only Serena and her parents had known about it. Serena wasn't exactly talking. Eleanor barely knew how to send a text and her father…_

 _Nate wasn't the only man in Blair's life who had abandoned her to the wolves._

 _The only consolation had been that school hadn't started yet so she didn't have to see anyone. She gave Dorota strict instructions not to let anyone past the elevator. Not that anyone came looking. The only thing the masses loved more than a scandal was if that scandal caused a major fall._

" _Wow, I'm impressed…" Hazel's voice came directly behind her._

 _Blair took a steady breath and put her game face on as she turned to face her would be tormentors. Hazel and Penelope were directly behind her swirling their fingers around the rims of their cosmopolitans. Blair could see Kati and Iz lounging on a chaise directly behind. Those two looked wary and just a bit guilty. If she did decide to wage war Blair was pretty sure she could get either one of those girls to flip as a double agent. Especially Iz. She'd silently hated Penelope since the 6_ _th_ _grade._

" _I'd say the same thing about this party…" Blair started. "…Except I don't want to be a liar."_

 _A stifled noise sounding a bit too much like laughter came from the general direction of the couch and Penelope shot an angry look behind her._

 _Would it have been too on the nose to bring a can of gasoline with her? Maybe just a sterling silver lighter from Tiffany's._

 _Penelope sneered at her._

" _The bathrooms are over there if you're looking," the other brunette motioned. She looked over her shoulder and her smile widened. "I doubt Nate is going to want to help you hold back your hair."_

 _Blair saw him behind the other girls. He had his baby blue eyes glued to the scene like everyone else in close proximity to the former Queen B and two would be successors. When Blair made eye contact with him though he turned away towards some redhead who handed him another beer._

" _That makes two of us I guess," Blair said with just the slightest tremor in her voice. "Go easy on the liquor there, Penelope. Remember spring break '05? Nate hates a sloppy drunk. Of course he'd have to look at you for more than five seconds to even notice."_

 _A few people in the crowd let out a few 'ohs' and even Hazel had to lift her drink in front of her face to hide her smile._

 _Penelope had never been much of a sparring partner so in lieu of a biting comeback she dumped the rest of her cosmo down the front of Blair's dress. A stupid move really but then what Blair did next could be considered even stupider._

 _Blair couldn't really explain it. Maybe she was just that willing to end everything, socially that is. She wasn't even really mad about the dress. Penelope resorting to such childish tactics just proved how far beneath Blair the other girl really was._

 _It was probably the headband. Like all the rest of Blair's former minion Penelope had one on. Hers was a bit wider than the others and the bow. Was. On. The. Wrong. Side! Not to mention Penelope didn't even like headbands. Blair had given her so many demerits the first few weeks sophomore year because the other girl wouldn't get on board._

 _Blair grabbed the silky band and a more than generous clump of the other girl's hair, noticing that it was dried out and a bit over washed, and yanked._

" _Get off me, you bitch!" Penelope screamed while trying to claw at Blair's face and neck._

 _Hazel took a giant step back not even trying to help her so-called friend. The scuffle went on for almost a full minute, Penelope managing to muss up Blair's hair in return and Blair ripping the other girl's dress at the shoulder, before people stepped in to break it up._

 _Someone tried to gently restrain Blair by the shoulders but she smacked their hands away. Nate locked his arms around Penelope's middle but his eyes were on Blair._

" _What the hell is your problem?" he spat at her, eyes brimming with repugnance._

 _He didn't really give his ex time to answer as he put an arm around Penelope and helped her hobble over toward Kati and Iz. The other girl was already milking the whole thing for all it was worth, leaning against the blonde boy._

"I saw the Gossip Girl blast," Nate said.

"You and everybody else."

Is that what had finally broken the silence? Nate was jealous? Blair had considered trying to make him so countless times during their relationship over the years. Ironically she'd considered using Chuck once or twice seeing as how she was rabid over Nate's attentions to her best friend, but she'd decided against it because Nate wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the box and he would have to be paying attention to Blair in order to notice anything at all. Not to mention Chuck would probably take a little too much advantage of the situation if she'd used that scheme.

"It's not true right?"

Nate had never been one to mince words. Mostly because he didn't have a devious bone in his body. If it hadn't been for somebody posting that video to Gossip Girl Blair wondered how long it would have taken Nate to crack and confess his indiscretion.

Blair didn't even try to hide her anger at his words. The freaking hypocrite. That he thought so little of her now that he could think she would do that?

"I don't see how it's any of your business," she said.

She thought she'd take some pleasure in his discomfort but mostly she was just hurting herself. She couldn't separate this inconsiderate zombie Nate from the other one. The one who had worn her heart pin on his sweater sleeve. Who always took her side on movie night even though he knew it would end with them all watching either _Roman Holiday_ or _Breakfast at Tiffany's._ The same boy who'd meet her at the duck pond on Sunday afternoons when the weather was nice and buy her hot chocolate when it started to turn frigid.

Blair's throat closed up and she pretended to look for something in her bag.

"You know how he treats women, Blair," Nate said.

"Almost as well as you do. Don't tell me that's why your guy's bromance broke up?"

A look flitted across Nate's face so quickly that Blair could almost convince herself she imagined it. It looked a lot like guilt. Blair did actually want to know what happened there. She told herself it was because she wanted more ammunition against Chuck. Really she thought that if she could get that piece of the this whole mess of a puzzle something else might click into place. As if the answer to why Chuck and Nate's friendship imploded would some how help her come to a stalemate with Chuck. Or even rebuild what they all once had. As if Nate would suddenly open up to her, like he never had done in the past. And then somehow miraculously he would want her back.

Blair thought she had gotten past all those stupid daydreams. It hurt to know that she wasn't as strong as she thought she was. She'd like to think she had more self-respect but the fact was if Nate snapped his fingers right now she wasn't sure she wouldn't run into his arms. The fact that he now thought the worst of her helped dull the ache of this realization a bit.

"I have to go," Blair said trying to give her ex-boyfriend her best look of boredom. "Some of us still care about our academic career."

She walked past him and he called after her.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt, Blair."

She wanted to turn around and hit him or scream. Possibly cry. Instead she didn't even look back as she tossed a line over her shoulder.

"Better late then never huh, Nate? But then I guess that's your MO."

And of course upon stepping outside she got accosted by one of the last people she wanted to see. Not that she gave Dan Humphrey much thought.

"Blair! I need to talk to you," he came straight for her.

"What the hell, Humphrey. There are people around. And I thought I made it clear, our business is done."

He ignore her obvious disdain. Hell he even kept up with her stride across the courtyard. There weren't that many people around thank god but still the last thing she needed right now was someone taking an interest and sending a pic into Gossip Girl saying she was now slumming it in Brooklyn.

"Look I don't have anyone else to turn too-."

"Wrong. You have no one to turn to."

Blair halted and pinned Dan in place with a frigid glance.  
"I'm not your friend, Humphrey. You don't have any friends. From what I can see your own sister doesn't even like you anymore."

Humphrey didn't back down.  
"I know you like to think you're some package of girly evil, but after what you did for Jenny at that party I know you have a heart in there somewhere."

 _Blair refused to just run out of there and she wasn't going to go to the bathroom just to fuel the fire more about her little urge. She ran her hands through her hair trying to tame it back into place and started to make what she thought was a dignified exit when someone slammed into her._

" _Jesus, sorry!" The boy reached out a hand so she wouldn't fall over._

 _The guy looked like he belonged at this party even less than she did. He was wearing keds for Christ sake._

" _Watch it," she snapped. "And keep your hands to yourself."_

" _Well, excuse me," he mumbled sarcastically. Then did a double take. "Wait. You're Blair Waldorf."_

" _I used to be," she said ready to continue on her way._

" _Wait…no…My sister wants to be you…or well she used-." He trailed off and she began to push past him again. "No, please. That's why I'm here."_

" _Well I didn't think you had an invitation. You better run along before someone calls security. Go back home to…"_

" _Brooklyn."_

" _Of course," she laughed. "How did you even hear about this party?"_

" _My sister made the invitations. I go to St. Jude's. I'm in your year. Dan Humphrey."_

 _He actually looked offended she didn't know him._

" _Don't care. And for future reference you need to keep a five feet minimum distance from me, Brooklyn. Not that I'm hoping to repeat this experience anytime soon."_

" _My sister is here," he pleaded. "She's a freshman and is obsessed with all this. She snuck out to come here and I can't find her. My dad will kill us both if he finds out. And like you said someone's bound to have me thrown out any second…"_

" _She's freshman you said?"_

Humphrey had been wrong about Blair helping him out because of the goodness of her heart.

"I don't have one, Humphrey. And next time you think about approaching me, do yourself a favor and get a lobotomy because you'll have obviously lost your mind."

It hadn't been because of any warm and fuzzy nice feelings that Blair had helped Dan and Jenny Humphrey that night. She'd had a shitty time and wanted to make someone else have just the same.

She'd had a good idea where Jenny Humphrey would be and cockblocking Chuck Bass was just the sort of thing that would put a spring back in Blair's step if not a smile on her face. Luckily the two would-be lovebirds were still in the stairwell leading up to the roof. A few more minutes and Little J definitely would have been past the point of no return.

As it was it seemed the little blond was still basking in the attention when Blair and Dan came upon them. Little J was more embarrassed than anything. Blair didn't bother telling the girl that she was kind of lucky to have someone like her brother around to look out for her; that Blair herself would like that. She was too busy basking in the enjoyment of ruining Chuck Bass's night.

" _You really are a bitch, Waldorf."_

 _Not his best barb but Blair could see that he was a little more drunker than usual._

" _You say that with such a tone of surprise, Bass. And you should be thanking me. That girl was from Brooklyn. Though I never thought you had much taste when it came to women."_

 _The shine of this whole experience was quickly wearing off as Blair realized exactly where she was and with whom._

" _Maybe I should have passed her along to Nate huh? He always did like blondes more."_

Of course after remembering all this her path would lead her right to the real _absolute_ last person she ever wanted to see.

Speak of the devil and he doth appear.

"Should I be jealous lover?" Chuck asked in jest motioning his head in Humphrey's direction, who thank god had not followed Blair.

Chuck knew Blair was probably at some sort of tipping point right now but he'd never been one to shy away from such things.

"Of course you're enjoying this," Blair said. "You're probably getting pats on the back and congrats on thawing the local Ice Queen. Meanwhile I'm branded with a red S for slut."

Blair did not like how close he was. She could feel his body heat and the smell of his aftershave mixed with just a hint of cigarette smoke was not exactly unappealing. She must be loosing her mind.

She tried to walk right past him but he shot his arm out to block her. He seemed as surprised as she was about it and ignored her disgruntled look.

"Got to love the double standard," he said squeezing her shoulder. Blair shrugged him off and shot him a look that screamed 'back off'. He ignored that too.

"And as much as it brings me joy to see you miserable, I got to say this victory is a little hollow." He stepped even closer so that she had to tilt her head up to see his eyes. "I'm not actually getting any benefits. What do you say, Waldorf? You look like you could use some stress relief and like Gossip Girl said: turnabouts fair play."

He'd made the wrong calculation and he knew it the minute the words were out of his mouth. Her eyes narrowed in anger for a half a second before she went deathly calm.

"No," she said her voice icy. "I wouldn't do that to-." She took a steadying breath. "I would never do that with _you_."

He had to take a step back at the way she said 'you'. As if he was the person she hated most in the whole world. Maybe he was. God knew he'd given her ample reason to think that way. Chuck didn't know when this game had gotten so out of hand.

He recovered quickly enough.

"He's not going to want you back, Blair. No one is. Not now that they think you're tainted goods. You're never getting the fairytale back."

He saw her lip quiver and even though a soft fluttering had started in his stomach, he went in for the kill.

"It must really suck. You're major competition for Prince Charming ends up in a coma and he still prefers her to you."

A single tear fell from the corner of Blair's eye but she quickly swiped it away.

"I hate you," she spat. "And maybe no one wants me but at least they're honest about it. The only reason anyone puts up with you is because of your daddy's billions. And at least I have people like Brooklyn and Nelly Yuki hanging on my coattails. Nate was only friends with you out of habit and now that he's come to his senses and chucked you, Chuck, everyone can see you for what you really are. An inhuman monster."

Blair didn't even spare him a glance to see how hard her words hit home. She stepped around him and made a beeline for nearest restroom.

When it was apparent that no one else was inside Blair shoved the lock in place and dumped her bag onto the sinks. She ran the tap high on hot and because this wasn't some public school the water started to steam distorting Blair's reflection with fog. That was okay. She didn't exactly want to look at herself right now.

Blair could feel her stomach churning and the urge to lock herself in one of the stalls was so strong her hands started to shake. She tried to remember some of the words of wisdom Dr. Sherman had tried to impart but Blair had skipped her last two sessions and all she could think about was Chuck and Nate and Serena.

The four of them were supposed to be together. They were supposed to be ruling their schools, with Blair just a little bit higher on the food chain than the rest. This was supposed to be the happiest time of her life. What a crock of bull. It took loosing everything to see how unhappy she'd been before.

 _She'd come home from the party ready to crawl right under her duvet and stay there until school started on Monday. For about half a minute Blair considered waking her mother up and begging the older woman to let her go to France to let her finish school. That meant putting up with that Eurotrash Roman and Blair didn't think she could stomach seeing how happy her father had become without her in his life._

 _Blair struggled a bit to unzip and pull her ruined dress off alone since Dorota had gone home hours ago. She was just about to go to the bathroom to scrub her face raw and maybe even soak in the tub when she noticed the large yellow envelope propped up on her vanity, the usual place Dorota put things if someone left something for Blair and she was out. Blair was about ready to ignore it when she noticed the writing in the corner where the return address would be. Written in bright blue calligraphy: XOXO._

 _Blair almost gave herself a paper cut ripping the envelope open. There was a typed letter on heavy stock paper. Two lines._

 _ **I'm a better friend than an enemy.**_

 _ **Or at least an ally. Don't cross me again.**_

 _ **XOXO Gossip Girl**_

 _There was something else in the envelope and she dumped it into her open palm. A flash drive. It took a minute to boot up her laptop and another long minute for Blair to realize what she was looking at._

" _Holy shit…"_

 _It was the police report of Serena's accident complete with toxicology report. The second file on the drive was a picture of Serena getting out of a cab in front of the Oak Room. Even if it hadn't been time stamped Blair would know have known the date._

 _Serena had been wearing those same clothes when she'd come to Blair's begging for forgiveness and understanding. Right before she'd disappeared and then been found on a subway platform full of drugs and sporting a massive head wound._

 **xoxo**

 **So this chapter ended on a pretty dark note. The next chapter will have some flashbacks about what exactly was said the last time Blair saw Serena as well as some Nair and Chair interactions.**


	3. Chapter 3

**So some of the reviews have mentioned that they haven't watched Veronica Mars. I'm basing this fic on some of the plot points from the first season of that show. The basic gist of that show is that the main character is a teenage private eye who used to be part of the in crowd at her school until her best friend was murdered and then things fell apart for her. There was a love triangle in that show that I'm using in reference to the C/B/N interactions in this story. If you've seen Veronica Mars you can guess how this is going to go. It's a good show that I do recommend.**

 **xoxo**

"Blair? Are you listening?" Dr. Sherman asked.

The older woman knew Blair didn't want to be there. Not since the very beginning almost two years ago. Blair would've ditched this time again too but her mother had come back from her bi-monthly trip to Paris after someone on the doctor's staff had placed a call to Harold who had in turn called his ex-wife.

"I actually wasn't," Blair said deciding to be a bitch today. It was her default setting after all.

She couldn't believe she was wasting a Sunday on this. She hadn't had a relapse in weeks. Of course there wasn't much else she could be doing. Her mother hadn't dug her head out of the sand long enough to notice the lack of invitations Blair was receiving at least.

"I'm an inconvenience. My parents are only concerned with my well being when it somehow disrupts their schedules."

"Blair, you have to know that's not true. They're worried you're not handling your grief. That you haven't mourned properly."

"Serena's not dead," Blair said.

She refused to look at Dr. Sherman anymore and instead focused on the wall clock. As if she could make it move faster from will alone. Maybe she could, she was Blair Waldorf after all. Though that didn't have as much stock as it used to.

"No, Serena's not dead, but she has been…incapacitated since last spring."

"She's in a coma. Why does nobody want to say that? It's not like she's in rehab. And I think I'm handling my grief pretty well considering. I'm not pretending there's going to be some miracle like her mother."

Lily Van der Woodsen wasn't exactly known for living with both feet firmly planted on the ground. Like most Upper East Side matriarchs, if you couldn't throw money at the problem it wasn't worth mentioning unless absolutely necessary, and then you put your own spin on it.

"And I'm not forgetting her like everybody else seems to be. I know Serena might never wake back up and I've come to terms with that."

"And your guilt?"

Blair's eyes did circle back to the doctor at these words.

"Guilt?"

" _What are you doing here?" Blair said from the stairs. It was well past the time to receive visitors and Dorota had gone home for the night. Not that Blair wanted to see anyone. Especially_ _ **her**_ _._

 _Serena stood in the foyer, her hair a bit of a tangle and her skin milky pale. She was barely holding back tears and Blair felt a little thrill at this. The bitch deserved it. That video must have been taken at least a week ago at the wedding._

" _Word was you were going to boarding school."_

" _I know I'm probably the last person you want to see…"_

" _That's what happens when you sleep with your best friend's boyfriend, Serena. Or ex-boyfriend I should say."_

" _You and Nate broke up?" Serena actually seemed shocked at this._

" _What did you think would happen when you released that video?" Blair spat._

 _It was one thing to forgive Nate if he had come clean to her right away and the three of them where the only ones who knew about his little indiscretion. Now that the video of it was out there though Blair wouldn't gain anything by standing by her man. She was still too angry and hurt to admit she might even want to._

" _I didn't release that tape. I didn't even know about it!" Serena said. "I wanted to tell you… There's so much I want to tell you. I just really need my best friend right now," Serena pleaded. "I think I'm in real trouble this time."_

 _Serena seemed completely sober if hysterical. Blair's determination wavered for a moment. She remembered all the times they had been there for each other; Serena's late nights and cleaning puke from her yards of hair and Serena being there after every session with Dr. Sherman and listening to her fears about Nate. Fears that were now totally justified._

" _Well that's too bad," Blair said. "Get out. I don't want to see you anymore."_

"Why would I have any guilt?"

Blair hadn't told anybody about that. Not that the police had asked her. As far as she knew that was the last time anybody had seen Serena before she was found ODing and hurt on a subway platform in Queens. The location alone should have been a red flag that there was some foul play going on.

"In the few sessions before the accident you and Serena didn't seem to be on the best of terms."

"It wasn't an accident," Blair snapped.

Dr. Sherman didn't say anything in response. The older woman kept her face a mask hoping her response would prompt Blair to continue.

Blair wasn't about to spill her guts about the whole thing. Not that there was much to tell. She was at a dead end. The staff at the Oak Room had been little help. The place got tons of traffic and sure Serena was memorable but it had been months since that night and the bar didn't have any kind of video surveillance to speak of.

After a tense moment Blair finally spoke. "You think I'm insane."

"Hardly. I do think you need help dealing with your feelings and you obviously need someone to talk to."

"I don't want to talk," Blair said. " And I don't want closure or a healthy state of mind. Someone did this to my friend and I'm going to find out who and make them pay."

 **xoxo**

Blair thought about Dr. Sherman's words as she walked the last few blocks to school the next day.

 _You obviously need someone to talk to._

In spite of the cold shoulder Blair tried to present, Nelly Yuki was still a constant companion. Blair wasn't about to use the 'F' word in regards to Nelly Yuki but she could admit, not out loud, that the other girl had some admiral qualities. Unintentionally Blair had actually picked up a couple more strays in the last week.

Now that Blair had helped get Little J out from under the thumb of Penelope and Hazel the Humphrey's were a bit of a staple in the little alcove where Nelly and Blair ate lunch. It had taken very little effort on Blair's part. One stolen cell phone and one embarrassing tip to Gossip Girl about Penelope that traced back to Little J later and the blonde minion in training was kicked to the curb. God knows Humphrey hadn't really even done anything except ask Blair for help, so the residual guilt he felt about making his sister as big as a social pariah as the rest of them was getting a bit tiring. Blair almost wished the boy wasn't such a good sport about all the abuse Blair threw his way.

Dan Humphrey was apparently the Nelly Yuki of St. Jude's though. Having no friends of his own Dan decided it was worth putting up with said abuse in exchange for having someone to sit with and talk to, even though Blair rolled her eyes and gagged at almost everything he said and Nelly and her had started making him pay them a dollar any time it even looked like he was about to start a conversation about class warfare.

Little J was a pleasant surprise really. The girl had a dour look on her face most of the time because she was still mooning over the crowd on the Met steps but Blair had to admit the girl had potential. She'd obviously made a more than adequate minion and Blair could see Little J taking over the crown in the future, if she'd had the right mentor.

Still about a block from school, Blair was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of a limo pulling up beside her. Like Blair really needed this shit this early in the morning.

Chuck had basically left her alone since their last run in. Word was he was in the middle of some kind of self-destruction. He had apparently flaked out on his own lost weekend a few weeks ago and had gotten kicked out of some club this weekend. Blair had hoped whatever crap he was dealing with would keep the two of them well out of each other's breathing space for a while. Maybe even land her former guy friend in rehab.

"Need a ride?" Chuck asked, though his heart didn't seem to be in the innuendo.

Blair rolled her eyes and didn't even stop, though she slowed her stride a bit.

"I think we've said everything we could possibly ever want to say to each other, Bass. How about you go back to ignoring me and I go back to thinking that you're the worst human being to ever walk the planet."

Blair almost stopped at hearing the sound of the door of the limo open and slam shut. She looked back over her shoulder and did falter for a step. Chuck Bass had gotten out of his limo and was walking to keep pace with her. Anybody passing by would think they were walking to school together. Blair made sure her face showed that no one could assume she liked this turn of events.

"What the hell? Get back in the limo, Chuck. I don't need this right now."

"I'm trying to broker a truce here, Blair. I could really use your help."

That stopped her stride and she really looked at him. He looked a bit disheveled. About as much as she'd ever seen him be anyway. His hair was mussed and not in the carefully crafted way someone like Nate would do it. His suit was perfectly tailored of course but his coat wasn't buttoned and his scarf was missing. His face looked sincere and pale.

Blair quickly pushed the concern down deep and brought up the bitchiness instead.

"The only thing I want to help you with is into an early grave, but after the little bender I heard you went on this weekend I might not have to do anything but sit back and watch."

"Blair…"

She visibly flinched at the softness of his voice. As if they were somehow still friends. As if he hadn't abandoned her just like Nate all those months ago. Like he hadn't taken pleasure in watching her descent and torturing her.

"I'm exhausted, Chuck. Whatever this new game is, have fun playing with your self. I'm out."

He said her name again but she ignored it and when he grabbed for her arm she quickly shook him off and walked as fast as her Manolo Blahnik's would let her. Yes she was being a coward but she didn't want to risk letting herself start to feel anything for Chuck Bass except total disgust. She definitely didn't want to remember how much fun she'd had scheming with him over the years. How no one else even came close to her level when it came to reigning ultimate destruction on another person.

She didn't know how many more times she could go through all this. Just when she thought she'd gotten over her loss a small glimmering diamond of her former life winked in front of her and she hated herself all over again for thinking that things could ever be like they once were.

This time it was even worse. It was the wrong boy and the wrong side of the coin. Blair didn't want the dark prince and the schemes and the games. Except that she _really_ did. She missed it almost more than she missed Nate and the Met steps. The rush of victory at seeing another's defeat. The warmth that would spread through her body as the perfect scheme manifested in her imagination. And no one had ever really understood that part of Blair. No one accepted that. Except Chuck Bass.

Blair finally made it to the gates and had never been so happy to see Nelly Yuki in her life. No way would Chuck talk about needing help in front of a laymen. Blair headed straight for the other girl who was too immersed in studying some flash cards to notice Blair at first.

"God, Nelly, what are you a robot?" Blair said in way of greeting making the other girl jump and drop her flash cards. Not that Blair herself hadn't been conjugating French verbs over her barely touched fruit plate this morning.

"Hi, Blair," Nelly said sheepishly as she bent down to gather her study aides. "I have that bio…lab.." Nelly's voice faded out as the girl rose from her squat. "Did you walk to school with Chuck Bass?"

Blair snapped her head around, almost hitting Nelly with her glossy curls if the other girl hadn't stepped back in time. Chuck was a few feet away. He wasn't coming over and Blair kept a stoic look on her face while her eyes shot murder. He glared back at her before heading up the steps toward the main doorway of St. Jude's.

"Don't be ridiculous," Blair said.

"He looked mad," Nelly said. "Or maybe sad? I don't know. I'm not used to seeing that guy with actual emotions on his face."

Blair kept her icy demeanor up.

"He's probably just drunk," she said leading the way into the main courtyard.

"Yeah. I saw on Gossip Girl that he got into some sort of fist fight with Carter Baizen last week, who I guess is back from Thailand or maybe it was Egypt…" Nelly mused.

"Who cares about Carter Baizen or Chuck Bass?" Blair snapped. Where was a set of steps she could demote Nelly down when she needed it? "Carter Baizen is a cutoff burnout and Bass doesn't look like he's heading to be much better."

Nelly nodded as if she agreed but she stuttered out a reply in spite of any sane judgment she might have in her head.

"Right…So you two…really aren't…" Nelly trailed off when her self-preservation instincts finally kicked in. "Right…no… There was never anything true about that Gossip Girl blast…"

"If one believed everything they saw on Gossip Girl, I'd have to believe you and Humphrey had something going on. Even though I happen to know until two weeks ago the most contact you'd had with the boy was when you stole his lunch last semester," Blair said.

She took some joy in watching Nelly's face blanch then immediately darken in an unbecoming blush.

The gossip hounds really had been scrapping the bottom of the barrel that day.

 **Spotted: Lonely Boy looking awful cozy with resident bookworm NY. But what's this we hear about a former bestie coming back in the picture looking for a little more from Humphrey? Looks like Lonely Boy might need a new moniker.**

 **XOXO**

"That was one time…" Nelly mumbled about the stolen lunch. "And that's _so_ not true. Jenny says Dan and that Vanessa girl are…together now."

Nelly looked like she was going to cry and Blair was not about to be the shoulder that that mess happened on.

"Snap out of it, Nelly."

Blair had hoped once the other girl had actually started hanging out with Dan Humphrey on a daily basis she would get over the weird fixation she had on the Brooklynite. If anything it seemed to get worse.

"The only thing more pathetic then wanting to hang out with Dan Humphrey is pining for Dan Humphrey. Nelly, I never thought I'd say this but you can do better. Not to mention Little J said that boho ho left for a year after Humphrey declared his love for her. So she's either using him as a rebound over some hippie she met on the commune or she's just a hot mess in general."

Not that Blair was condoning Nelly going after Humphrey, but if it got him away from this wannabe filmmaker all the better. Dan had been judgier than usual of late and Blair had a sinking suspicion it had to do with the company he was keeping across the bridge.

Nelly blinked a few times thankfully not shedding any tears and gave a small smile.

"Thanks, Blair. I think."

"Don't mention it….No seriously don't. This conversation never happened."

 **xoxo**

Blair was contemplating what her next step should be in the whole Serena case during study hall when she really should have been double-checking her extra credit assignment for Economics. She'd had the fleeting idea of maybe trying to trace where Serena had gotten the drugs but that seemed like it would be as big a dead end as everything else. Blair didn't know if Serena had a regular dealer since girls like her bff always got things without really trying. Serena hadn't had to pay for a drink since she'd sprouted boobs back in the seventh grade.

Plus Blair was certain Serena hadn't taken those drugs willingly. S was a party girl and could be such a blonde but she wasn't as dumb as most people thought nor was she suicidal. Not to mention the presence of Zolpidem in Serena's blood. A quick Google search had revealed that that particular drug was used to treat insomnia, which Serena did not have. Zolpidem was used a roofie substitute since it was still readily available over the counter. Not to mention it dissolved quickly in alcohol and was fast acting. Serena had had enough in her system to be suspicious in Blair's opinion.

Blair's cell phone vibrated with a text and cut through the mist of Serena that hung in Blair's mind. Blair checked to make sure the teacher wasn't looking before she went to check the message. If it was a further plea from Humphrey to get her to schlep it to Brooklyn to watch his new girlfriend's "film" she swore she would send a false tip to Gossip Girl that he had plagiarized all his English assignments this year. For someone who thought they were such a moral compass of superiority, not to mention his pride in his writing, that blast would wound him.

It wasn't Humphrey or Nelly or even Dorota. For a minute Blair just stared at her phone. She couldn't help the small rush of adrenaline she got or the quickening of her heartbeat at seeing the text from her ex-boyfriend.

 **Nate:** _hey can we talk?_

Normally Blair might have tried to play it coy but she'd been honest this morning when talking to Chuck. She was tired and if this was somehow bad news she just wanted to get it over with. If it was good…

Blair couldn't let herself imagine. She wasn't that girl anymore.

A little voice inside that sounded suspiciously like Chuck Bass called her a liar.

 **Blair:** _sure what's up?_

 **Nate:** _After school? We can go 2 that sushi place u like_

It was actually the sushi place Nate liked. Blair actually hated the whole idea of raw fish but that just made it easier not to stuff herself when they'd gone there together.

 **Blair:** _Sure. 7pm?_

Blair wasn't so desperate anymore that she'd put Nate above her studies. Plus she'd need time to pick out an outfit. Do her hair.

 **Nate:** _See u then_

Blaire willed her mind to stay rational. It was just a text. It was just dinner. Nate had basically gone back to ignoring her since that day in the hallway when she'd thought he'd been jealous of that blast about her and Chuck. He probably hadn't even been jealous. Maybe he _had_ been concerned for her welfare?

Blair couldn't keep the smile off her face.

 **xoxo**

"Miss Blair," Dorota called to her young charge as the younger woman came almost running out of the elevator.  
"Yes, hello Dorota!"

Blair practically shoved her jacket and bag into the Polish maid's arms.

"No time to talk! You have to help me get ready. I want to look fantastic….but not like I'm trying too hard."

Blair started up the stairs to her room but the maid's voice stopped her.

"But Miss Blair, you have guest."

Blair paused on the steps and looked at Dorota's agitated face and the blood started to pound in Blair's ears. Nate would have called or at least sent a text if he changed their plans wouldn't he? Her loyal maid's next words only conformed her worst suspicions.

"I try to make him stay in sitting room, even offer make him tea or…other drink. But no go. He in your room."

" _No_ …"

Blair practically ran the rest of the way to her room.

"What the hell?!"

Chuck Bass had made himself quite at home. He was sprawled across Blair's bed, her laptop open in front of him. It took Blair a moment to realize that the files she'd had Humphrey copy for her were spread out on the bed and floor near him.

When Chuck saw her in the doorway he smirked but turned his attention back to the screen in front of him.

"About time, Waldorf. Though I can't say I haven't been thoroughly entertained. I mean there's been all this talk that you've lost your marbles of late but this is kind of psychotic. For you at least."

Blair ignored the dig. She trounced over to the bed and slammed the top of the laptop shut, narrowly missing Chuck's fingers, before hugging the laptop to her chest. She would have hit Chuck over the head with it if she wasn't afraid of breaking it. The computer not his head. She wanted him bloody.

Blair repeated her earlier sentiment, "What the hell, Bass?"

She was not screeching. Waldorf's did not screech.

Chuck sat up but did not move off the bed. Blair did not like how comfortable he looked lying there. She placed her laptop on her vanity, afraid she might actually murder him with it.

"I think I have a pretty good idea where you got the guidance counselor's files, but where'd you get Serena's police report?"

He sounded more impressed than curious.

"Get out! I thought I made it clear this morning I'm done with whatever perverse game you want to play."

"This morning. Right." Chuck did get up off the bed now and stalked toward her. Blair refused to look threatened and braced herself, standing straighter and willing steal into her eyes and stance. "I forgot who I was dealing with this morning. That we aren't friends anymore."

 _And whose fault is that?_

Blair didn't say her thought out loud mostly because she didn't truly know the answer. She loved giving Chuck the blame. After all he was a great scapegoat for all her anger but the truth was she couldn't remember exactly how it had gotten this bad. Who had thrown the metaphorical first punch?

"Blair Waldorf doesn't help people," Chuck said coming to a stop right in front of her.

Blair thought he might reach out for her like he had in their previous encounters over the last few weeks. When he didn't Blair convinced herself that it was relief coursing through her not disappointment.

Maybe she was _psychotic_.

"Blair Waldorf isn't nice," he continued. "Not unless there's something in it for her."

Blair balled her hands into fists to keep from slapping him, even though what he said was the truth. She must be sick in the head if she wanted Chuck Bass anywhere near her.

"Then you know you're wasting your time…over whatever it is. You don't have anything I want." She lifted her chin higher. "You never really did."

"Like you I'm not that nice either, Blair," he said. "I tried to be this morning and look where that got me."

Though if you asked Blair he was enjoying where he was at the moment. Too much for her comfort.

"So what? Blackmail? Seriously. My reputations is already in shreds."

Chuck leaned closer and Blair clenched her fists tighter digging her nails into her pale palms to keep from reaching out for him. To push him away she reassured herself.

"You think you've hit rock bottom, Waldorf. Take it from me. There's always further to fall. What would your mother think about all this?" He motioned at her laptop and at the mess of papers behind them. "What would Serena's family think?"

He had her and they both knew it. Lily Van der Woodsen wanted nothing more than to pretend that her daughter was away on some long sabbatical. Eleanor would probably have Blair committed.

"And Nate… Not only did you steal his guidance file, you have your own on your laptop. Wonder what he would think if you told him he's a suspect?"

Which wasn't exactly true no matter what that stupid file said on her computer. Nate couldn't hurt anyone, especially Serena. He just didn't have a solid alibi. He hadn't gone back to the wedding after his tryst with Serena and no one could verify his whereabouts until the late hours of the next morning.

"You could kiss any chance of a reconciliation goodbye," Chuck said.

"How did you know about that?" Blair asked.

As far as Blair knew Chuck was still persona non grata with Nate. Unless her ex was trying to rebuild both bridges they all had burned. Chuck's eyes narrowed at her and she realized that he hadn't known anything about her rendezvous with Nate. He'd just been looking to hurt her and past progress had shown that the easiest way to do that was through her ex.

Chuck took a step back and huffed out a laugh.

"Wow. I didn't think Nate had malicious bone in his body…or the brains for it at least. That just makes this easier for me…and a little sweeter. I'm a little impressed that Nathaniel would compromise his so-called ethics so willingly. Though he was never good at standing up to his parents."

He did try to reach out for her then and she took great pleasure in pushing him away. She stocked over to her bed and started cleaning up the files he had left strewn about the floor.

"What are you blathering about?"

"You haven't heard? Though that shouldn't be a surprise. Gossip Girl doesn't really post blasts about the parentals unless it's heavily vetted. Plus it must be hard to stay in the loop when your point of reference is Nelly Yuki and the rabble of Brooklyn." Blair ignored the obvious dig about her friends. "The Captain is having some money trouble. What might help with that is brokering a deal with a major client. Say…Waldorf Designs."

"Nate wouldn't do that."

Though she couldn't help the sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Really? Nate always liked to think he was the moral compass of our little clique. Really he was just a hypocrite. Waldorf, he didn't even talk to you for months until he thought you and I were sleeping together."

"He didn't believe that," Blair said.

At least she was sure of that now. Since that particular blast had gone out Nate hadn't tried to approach her again but she swore she could feel his eyes on her sometimes and she had definitely caught him glaring in the direction of his former best friend across the courtyard on more than one occasion.

"Maybe now," Chuck stated. "But he sure seemed ready to take some anonymous blogger's word over the years of knowing you."

Blair crushed the papers she held in her hand. She couldn't look at him. She didn't want to see the look of satisfaction on his face that he was possibly succeeding in making her doubt Nate's intentions. Nate wasn't like either of them. He was good.

"Wonder how long it'll take him to bring up his parents," Chuck mused.

Blair did shoot him a nasty glare at that. He smiled at seeing the nerve he hit. Except it wasn't exactly a happy smile. Chuck almost looked disappointed in her somehow. Maybe sad about the whole thing. Blair wanted to tell herself that he was high but his eyes were completely clear. She ignored whatever it was she was seeing in his face.

Her voice was cool and calm, "Get out."

"I know it's been a while for you, Blair, but that's not how this works. Remember?"

Maybe this was karma somehow. Or just the universe dumping on her in general. Punishing her because she thought she could have something back. Blair shouldn't have forgotten that caring about something this much only meant that someone could take it away from you.

No. She hadn't completely lost it. She didn't believe in signs or cosmic balance. This was all _him_.

Blair gave him a sickeningly beautiful smile. It wasn't hard to do. She just had to think about how she'd pay him back for all this.

"Fine. What do you need?"

Chuck knew what that smile meant but at the moment he couldn't care.

"I need you to help me find my mother."

 **xoxo**

 **Until next time.**


End file.
